More about toilets

The funky drummer is complaining about Japanese toilets, and even has a picture up so that you can sympathize more effectively. Well, I have a message for the funky drummer:

You obviously have not been here long enough, or at least not as long as I have. I am now capable of squatting with my feet flat, no balance problems, perfectly comfortable, and reading a book for twenty minutes if necessary (which it can be if I've been eating too much mochi).

Practice, man, practice!

One day I'm going to be one of those old ladies who congregate in doorways catching up on gossip, all squatting flat-footedly with their knees under their chins and their knickers showing, waving their arms around. And how much more integrated can you get than THAT? It doesn't matter how many Kanji you know. If you can't squat it doesn't mean a thing. You're out of the loop. Nobody is going to tell you about Tanaka-san's granddaughter's best friend's older sister's abortion while you're towering over them like that.

(The only time I can't squat is when I'm wearing bulky sweatpants, which tend to bunch up around the backs of my knees and cut off circulation. This can lead to a 'stand up and fall over' problem which is inadvisable in a Japanese-style toilet cubicle. Concussion plus foot-in-toilet is not a pleasant combination, particularly if you haven't flushed yet.)