Conversion

The other day I witnessed a conversion.

I was early for work, and cycled up the river admiring the cherry blossoms. They were lovely.


Further up, where a small canal flowed into the river, I spotted a heron.


The heron didn't see me. I went up on the bridge to get a better view, and from there I overheard EVERYTHING. This heron talked to himself a lot.

"Oooh, baby..." I heard him say.


"Heeeeere fishyfishyfishyfishyfishy!"


"GOOOOOD little fishy... come to me ... you know you really want to ... Nirvana awaaaaits you ... "


"Gotcha!"


"They don't call me the Fish Whisperer for nothing. HA HA HA HA HA! "


"Let's see if there are any more over here..."


"OUCH!"


"Bloody karma! I KNEW I shouldn't have become a Buddhist!"


"Maybe it's time to get born again. Being forgiven for everything is SO convenient."


"I suppose I could become a Freethinker, but who wants to THINK? Faith is easier. Besides, everybody knows there really is a Big Bird in the Sky. There must be. I'm irreducibly complex."


"Aha! There you are. HEEEEEERE... fishyfishyfishyfishyfishy ... Goooood little fishy ... Heaven awaaaaaaits you... "


I cycled to work, shocked. I'd thought the heron was deeply spiritual, but apparently he was just lazy. Also, he was into fish deception AND used bad language when he thought nobody was listening.

How appalling.